Why People Give, What Makes Them Stay, and How It All Pays Off

[AI-assisted as I needed to get these out.]

Most fundraising frameworks stop at tactics: what to say, when to follow up, how to write the perfect deck. But great fundraising isn’t just persuasion—it’s relationship design.

You’re not just trying to “get to yes.” You’re trying to create a durable, reciprocal, and generative relationship between a person and a piece of work.

That means you need to understand three things:

1. Why people give in the first place
2. What makes them feel truly included
3. Why this approach isn’t just more human—it’s more effective

Let’s take them in turn.

---

1. Why People Give

There’s no single answer. Donors are motivated by different mixes of desire, identity, opportunity, and psychology. The key is to diagnose what they’re really after—not what they say, but what’s actually pulling them in.

Here are some of the most common drivers:

• Shared mission
  They care about the issue. They want to solve the problem. This is the cleanest motive—and often underestimated.
• Creative or intellectual engagement
  A lot of wealthy people are bored. They want to play with ideas, solve hard problems, explore unfamiliar terrain.
• Community and meaning
  People crave belonging. Your work might offer access to communities, values, or spaces they’ve long admired.
• Fight or build energy
  Some want to take down the bad guys. Others want to create something better. Either can be a spark.
• Legacy and self-image
  As people age or gain power, they reflect more on impact, reputation, and modeling values for the next generation.
• Social identity
  They want to be part of something bigger, cooler, truer. A movement. A moment. A shift in history.
• Spiritual or moral obligation
  For some, this is an act of faith or a lived expression of personal ethics.
• Professional alignment
  They’re in a role that expects it. A corporate giving officer. A foundation program lead. Even here, identity still matters.
• To support the person asking
  They trust you. Respect you. Want to see you win.
• Tax optimization or guilt
  These exist. They’re not pretty. But you can still leverage them into deeper engagement if handled with clarity and integrity.

Your job isn’t to guess their motive. It’s to surface it—and then build a relationship that honors it.

---

2. What Makes People Feel Included

Once someone’s interested, the next step is creating a sense of authorship, participation, and belonging. Otherwise, you’re just asking them to fund your thing, not their thing. And the commitment won’t stick.

Here’s what inclusion actually looks like:

• Early involvement
  Invite them into something that’s still forming. Let them help shape the idea. They’re more likely to invest if they’ve left fingerprints.
• Real access
  Let them into the middle of the conversation—not just the sanitized version. Give them room to play, ideate, explore. No velvet rope.
• Candid updates
  Skip the polished report. Give them the raw version—the updates, the challenges, the pivots. Let them track the real work in real time.
• Creative authorship
  Let their insights shape decisions. Their contributions should influence the outcome. Let them be part of the design, not just the delivery.
• Reciprocal trust
  Treat them like a teammate. Someone who belongs. Not a customer, not a benefactor—an insider with skin in the game.
• Recognition
  Give credit. Let them feel seen. Name the things they’ve done that matter. Not performatively—authentically.
• Inclusive language
  Use “we” that includes them. Make sure the story you’re telling is one they’re inside, not adjacent to.
• Invitation into new spaces
  Introduce them to people and contexts they don’t usually access. Let them feel like they’ve stepped into something rare and meaningful.

The best fundraising relationships don’t feel like charity. They feel like purpose.

---

3. Why It Matters (Even If You’re Selfish About It)

Let’s be clear: this isn’t just about being more emotionally intelligent or values-aligned. This approach also works better.

Here’s what happens when you structure donor relationships this way:

• They take more risks with you
  When they feel like part of the team, they’re more forgiving. More patient. More solution-oriented. They know it’s hard. And they’re in it.
• They make more introductions
  They’ll start opening doors. Not as a favor. Because it feels like momentum, and they want their people in on it.
• They stick around longer
  This isn’t a campaign or a fiscal year. It’s part of their identity now. People don’t abandon the parts of themselves they’re proud of.
• They give more over time
  The deeper the connection, the deeper the commitment. When people feel ownership, they escalate their investment.
• They require less handholding
  Reporting becomes a shared narrative, not a performance. They already know what’s happening. They don’t need the show.
• They become advocates
  They talk about the work. They bring it into other spaces. They evangelize—not just the outcome, but the way it made them feel.

When you design for emotional, intellectual, and creative presence, you get more than a gift. You get a partner.

---

Bottom Line
This isn’t about tricking people into giving. It’s about recognizing what actually makes people move—then building structures, relationships, and language that reflect that reality.

Start from what people want to give. Design relationships that let them show up fully. And recognize that the ROI is not just financial—it’s strategic, durable, and human.